Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
