I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
