Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you win again, gameday.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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