I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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