so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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