That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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