Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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