I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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