dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize