what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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