Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize