I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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