we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
