but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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