Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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