Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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