My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
