As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
