Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
