Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
