how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
