I want to walk on stilts...naked
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
