He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
