her vagine was all disorganized.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
