I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
