You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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