im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
