I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
