Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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