Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.