hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
