All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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