Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
