no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The struggles of a small town man whore
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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