U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
