My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize