SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
