If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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