I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
