4 words: hood of his car
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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