we're blogging at a bar
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize