So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
