why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
