happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
