ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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