Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
