At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
