he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
