i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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