i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize