What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
