He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
