ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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