I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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