OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
