fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
