Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
