you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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