she looked like the before picture.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
