Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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