i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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