Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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