hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
