It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
